How to keep your kids safe

Summer is over, and now we are entering a brand new school year. The school jitters are starting to creep up. A lot of kids are worrying and dreading going back to school. Who will my rebbe/teacher be? Will they be nice to me? Who are going to be my friends? Who is going to hate me this year. How will i pass my class, I'm too dumb? And this is the never-ending thought process, that most kids are experiencing before school begins. So why not educate and boost your son/daughter's frame of mind. Give them the self-confidence they so crave. Educate them, and help them worry less.

So the point I'm trying to make, is kids have soo much to worry about, that they don't need another thing such as - unwanted sexual advances by a person, or being the target of physical or mental abuse, regardless if it is someone who is supposed to be trustworthy, such as Rabbi's, Teacher's, Friend's, or anyone else.

This year, if you are a sane parent, and haven't done so already, and you want to protect your child from being harmed, you must make your kids aware of some basic fundamental knowledge, in order that they know how to distinguish between right and wrong. They should all know, What is constituted as appropriate "touching", and what is considered NOT appropriate touching.

They should be told, what areas of the body are off limits to EVERYBODY, as well as also knowing how to act and behave, if they are G-D forbid faced with such a situation.

Now, we get to the next part. SEX? SEX? SEX? That's what the parent defense will be (not all of you of course, but a good chunk, I'm willing to bet). I can't say that word to my kid. It's bad. It's a dirty word. It's a grownup topic. Kids are too little to comprehend such a complicated process, besides it's better they don't know about it until they find out about it for themselves when they get older. It's Osur to bring up such nivul peh (oh yeah, i know some of you are thinking that). My kid doesn't need to know about sex. And the list goes on and on.

So what's my answer to you, the parent, who gives excuses as to why your kid should not be told about sex? Oy Vey, chas vesholom they should know how to defend themselves, right? Chas vechalila the should know that tumedica 3 letter word, come again? It would be a disgrace, that your kid, actually could have the knowledge necessary to defend him/herself, right? No. You're wrong. Again. It's that kind of negative insight and irrational thinking process, that fuels the fire, and contributes to the detriment of our kids. Don't we want to keep our kids safe? At home, a lot of you have burglar alarms, fire alarms, smoke detectors, levels of carbon monoxide are monitored by a detector, should you choose to have one (it would be a smart thing to do). We go through difficult measures, to keep the bad people out of our homes. Isn't your child a part of your household? shouldn't he/she be protected from bad people, wherever they may be, including schools? Shouldn't you the parent, do everything in your power, to help safeguard your child?

We live in the 20th century. Times have changed. This is not the days of Noach ish tamim haya "bedorosoi". We need to adjust reality to what it pertains to today. Today, we are a different generation. We are a lowly people now, compared to the times of the tanoim and amoroyim. Different generations, calls for different solutions. As hard as it may be, to force yourself to talk to your child about impending dangers and obstacles they may encounter though life, especially child molestation and sexual abuse subjects, it is still imperative and necessary, that they be prepared on how to defend themselves. Children are not stupid. Most children know much more than they let on. Chances are, many of them already know about sex, and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as they are educated about it, and are aware of the negatives aspects and positive aspects, of what the sexual relations, and that sort of behavior creates. The parent needs to channel the discussion of making sure nothing terrible happens to your kids, and gear it towards the betterment of the child's safety, and that includes talking about sex.

Be smart parents. Don't fall into denial. Be aware of different changes or patterns in your child's behavior. It may be nothing, but it may also be not such a nothing. So use common sense. Don't doubt your child. Believe them. Look into whatever problems they are having or complaining about. Take them to see a therapist if necessary. Be there for them. Spend dinner time, eating as one family, together as one. It really helps keep the family intact. You have a better chance of reaching out to your children that way. And last but not least. Don't be an ignoramus. It's just not a good tactic. If you suspect that your child is being abused in any way, sexually, physically, or mentally, go to the police. Contact the authorities, just as you would if your house was burglarized, or your car was stolen. This is not petty larceny, though. It's the life of your child. Treat it with respect and dignity. Don't always believe das torah. Last i checked, they were flesh and blood, just as we all are. They sin, just like we sin. They have temptations just like we have our own temptations. For the most part, i believe every man was created equal, but we also have the ability of bechira. We choose. Animals don't choose, they rely on instinct, they don't have bechira like we do. We know the difference of right from wrong. And consequently, we are judged by our actions. Sometimes we are judged fairly, and at times we are not judged fairly. The end result though, is we all need to survive in this world. The better equipped we are, the better off we will be because of it.

In closing, i would like to take this opportunity, to wish everybody, a Kesiva Vechasima Tova and a good Gebenched Yor. A prosperous year, a safe year, a rewarding year. And may we all be Zoche to get out of this Gulus bemeara veyuminu Amen.


NOTE: I am always available to offer my assistance in any way i could, in investigating child abuse crimes. If you, or someone you know, wants or needs guidance, please don't hesitate to email me at: matzil_nefoshos@yahoo.com

If I cannot directly help you, I will most certainly find you someone who could.

Shlomo Mandel, the man who deserves no Kovod

Shlomela, you had your chances. You obviously think like a gagnster, and don't believe there were any victims, both of sexual and of physical, not now, and not back then. You and the whole gang at YOB, and even your sadistical brother, yankele, who u threw out of YOB, will not be immune from this probe and lawsuits. You are a stupid fool. I have waited too long for a deal you should have taken. The deal is now OFFICIALLY off the table, you moronic dush bag. You want court, you'll get court. Prepare, to shell out all that dough for your lawyers, beacuse you sure as hell are going to need them.

You continue taking all the time you want now, because it doesn't matter anymore. This will all be so ugly. I can't wait for your crimes and that of YOB to be reckoned with at trial.

The CALM before the storm. You have underestimated us YOB, and now you will pay the price!

Calm.... Calm..... Calm..... and then WAR!

What about a shidduch for the victims?

What about a shidduch for the victims?

The question was brought up to me, what about Nussbaum's children, how will they ever get shidduch, if people find out what their father did? By that same token of logic, one can also assume that a son of a murderer is also a murderer. And a daughter of a convert should not be qualified as Jewish, because her mother was originally gentile. Makes me wonder, how many Tzadikim the world would see too, because along those lines of logic, one would already know what he/she is. If his father was a Rabbi, automatically he will also be one. If his father is wealthy, he too will be wealthy. If a family member molests little boys, it makes you a molester too, since you belong to that family. Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

And these "chachomim" (not), how do they answer the same question when thrown back in their faces? You shameful rabonim who let this child sexual abuse continue and linger, all because you wouldn't chas vesholom want a chilul hashem you claim? You wouldn't want to jeopardies a chilul hashem, so your answer is to allow our children to be victimized, brutalized, and bullied .... day after day, month after month, year after year, all the while knowing or not wanting to know about a Rabbi who molests, and a yeshiva determined to harbor and defend this know sadist and sexual predator. That makes a lot of sense doesn't it, you fake yidden, fake rabbi's. Isn't practicing what you preach, part of judiasim? Unless of course your version of judiasim, conveniently left that part out.

So we're back to that question. What about a shidduch for Nussbaums children? I ask, what about a shidduch for all the lives ruined by Nussbaum and YOB? Any Rabbi ever take that into consideration? Apperently not.

There is a story with Rav Shimon ben Levi, who was Rav and Dayan of a city in the early centuries. One day, a lion ate up a man that lived in that city. Rav Shimon ben Levi was distraught, because he felt guilty for the mans death. On what account? Because as Rav and Dayan of that city he failed this man. He should have made sure that this man wouldn't have committed a sin that ultimately led to his punishment of being eaten by the lion. In not doing so, Rav Shimon ben Levi, was held responsible thus resulting in his getting punished. Rav Shimon ben Levi, who was on such a high spiritual level, that he would have eliyahu hanavie visit with him daily, was punished when the Prophet did not come to him for 3 consecutive days.

So too, in our days. Our rabonim, share in that responsibility, that when the crimes of our schools and trusted rabbis go unpunished, they will have nothing in which they can defend themselves with, at least not to G-D. They so far to a large and embarrassing extent, have made the biggest chilul hashem themselves, by refusing to follow or interpret the torah in the correct fashion. Fakers, oh i say. Black hat, gartel, mikvah drenched fakery with a beard that can't hide the disgrace of a Jew that they are. May hashem have mercy on his children!

Very Important Update on YOB/Nussbaum

expose molesters said...

Sunday, August 20, 2006
Very Important Update on YOB/Nussbaum

Dear fellow friends,

I have been SILENT the past couple of months, i will remain quiet no longer. All of you that have been following my BLOG, and those that care for the safety and welfare of our children, will now get to see some form of justice for a 5th grade "RUBBY" who preyed on children, and those who aided and harbored the predator all these years. The reason i have been so QUIET all this time, is because, i have been in the midst of negotiations with the many victims of Yehuda Nussbaum, and YOB, who used intimidation and denial in their quest to bully and coverup these accusations of both sexual and physical abuse of boys all these years. I did NOT have to remain quiet, but i figured that I'll be nice and give YOB a chance to do the RIGHT thing, rather than what they have been doing, which has been acting scared and stupid, during this whole process. I have been EXTREMELY patient during these ongoing negotiations, perhaps even too patient, and too fair, and too nice. I set an August 1 deadline, for Yeshivah Of Brooklyn to respond by getting rid of Nussbaum, or face the consequences. So far they have still not done so, much to my disbelief and dismay. Although we have been communicating through a third party (a Rov), and I'm trying my hardest to help YOB save face (and a lot of money), by reaching a VERY fair deal for them, i am now starting to lose my patience. The grace period following that of August 1, that I was so kind to give to YOB,has now run out. I am recommending in the HIGHEST form possible, that YOB accept this very generous deal now, or face the alternatives. I am not going to continue negotiations, until ALL our terms are met. As part of negotiations, i bended over forwards and backwards, and did everything humanly possible to achieve our goals, both for the victims and the victimizers, in a most quiet and mentlichidika way, assuming YOB met our very fair conditions as part of the agreement. However, YOB has flinched at a very important aspect of our demands. We want an apology from Yehuda Nussbaum, and YOB, with Yakov (Jack) Mandel, and Shlomo Mandel's signatures on it.

At First, we asked for a public apology to be made in two Jewish newspapers of their choice. What do you think their reaction was, can you guess it? This was their reaction. We can't do that, it will be a great Chilul Hashem, and it will be a very big embarrassment for YOB and Nussbaum. How will Nussbaum's children ever get a shidduch? Also, we cannot apologize, YOB said, because our lawyers won't let us make an admission of guilt, because it opens us up the door for a lawsuit in the future for
other victims of abuse. So what did i do? I improvised, and allowed YOB and Nussbaum to make a PRIVATE written apology. I even offered to sign a release form that will state that we will not pursue further action, even though there is an admission of guilt.

That too, they balked on, worrying that victims can use that as ammunition in the future, against YOB/Nussbaum. Therefore, I am at wits end, and I will not continue negotiating with a side that is scared, and that is trying to get off easy with a slap on the wrist. That is NOT going to happen. Without an apology, there will be nothing to talk about, and I have now given the green light for my lawyers to begin the process of a lawsuit against YOB/Nussbaum, something that I have put on hold until now.

DO NOT underestimate us YOB, we are willing and ready for a war. I promise that the process will be much more embarrassing, dirtier and hurtful to you, than you ever could have imagined. The chillul Hasehm will unfortunate be much greater than it is now. If you are scared of bad publicity, just think how much greater it will be than it is currently. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I promise that after we win very BIG in court, you will be financially drained, and your Yeshiva and the crimes that were committed there will be out in the open for the whole public to witness. All your assets will be frozen and turned over to the victims. At least then, there will be some form of justice. Obviously, these young men are scarred for life, and can never have their innocence returned back to them, so in that respect, they will never have justice.

The generous deal I had in place, was to have Yehuda Nussbaum, fired immediately by YOB, and for him to never be in chinuch or work with children or be in close proximity to them ever again. At First YOB wanted to go to R' Dovid Choen to hear the accusations and make a decision on YOB/Nussbaum's guilt. However. we flat out refused to accommodate that idea, due to many factors, most notably, that the "Rabbi" rout has already been tried and exhausted before, and produced NOTHING. We, also did not want this process to drag out any longer than it already has. Baruch Hashem, YOB got wise, and after much pressure agreed to dismissing Yehuda Nussbaum, which of course is a big accomplishment, and in itself an admission, and we are gratified in that respect. However, as part of the healing process for the victims of the sexual and physical abuse encountered during their school days at YOB, there MUST be an apology period. Like i said, we had wanted a public apology for the victims, but we improvised for a private one, in order to avoid even more of a Chilul Hashem and embarrassment for YOB and Nussbaum. If that does not happen, then I say, see you in court YOB.

In my negotiations, I made it clear to the 3rd party and YOB, that considering the alternatives, they should be quite happy with our very fair list of demands. I specified that YOB should look at this as if it were a plea bargain in a criminal proceeding. To have this opportunity of demonstrating, that it is FINALLY ready to correct mistakes of the past, should be something YOB should be very grateful for. On the contrary of being scared of what public opinion may say or do, like they have been, YOB has a golden opportunity, to demonstrate to other Yeshiva's, that they too must follow course, and address the issue of child abuse, weather it be in the form of sexual, or physical. It will also help bring healing, and closure, to many of the victims who have been suffering, and those who continue to suffer, as a result of being abused as a child. Therefore, although it will be very embarrassing for YOB/Nussbaum, to make a public apology, and to ACTUALLY admit to their crimes, while also asking Mechilla from their victims, they have chosen the scare(dy) cat approach, where-as, what if some other victims will want to sue us because of our admissions, they theorize. In taking that approach, it actually shows, that YOB is more interested in covering their asses (pardon the french), than apologizing to the victims, and taking the lead in demonstrating that it really has done Tshuva, and that it really does care about the welfare of children that have been traumatized for life, and that it really does regret not taking these allegations seriously, when brought to their attention, almost 2 decades ago. Yet, they shy and get scared of doing the correct thing, the proper thing, which is to set an example, that Child Molesters will not be tolerated in schools, and that if there are allegations of sexual/physical abuse, then they must be taken and dealt with seriously. Think about how much more respect YOB can get from people, had they went about it, in that fashion, instead of being in denial and constantly fearing the unknown. Admit to what is known. Admit to the truth. Will YOB have the courage to do that? So far they have not, and time has practically run out on them. This bad press and publicity, is about to get much more damaging, and much more painful, for YOB and Yehuda Nussbaum. Keep checking back here for latest developments.

Think about how much greater the chilul hashem will be, if YOB was put on trial in a secular court, and all the victims will be testifying, and all the cards will be laid out on the table for the whole public to witness. How many times greater, will the bad publicity get for YOB, Yehuda Nussbaum, Yakov "Jack" Mandel, Shlomo Mandel, and others who were recklessly negligent with our children?

I even offered YOB, to shut down this site for good, assuming they kept their end of the bargain, that was to be reached between YOB/Nussbaum, and their victims. I also went out of my way, and volunteered as part of the agreement reached, that i would be willing to talk to any other potential victims that may arise in the future, to try and discourage them from seeking criminal and/or civil action against YOB/Nussbaum, and that I would do everything in my power to try and dissuade these victims by reassuring them that thank G-D, Nussbaum will no longer be around children. No longer will he be working in chinuch, no longer will he be able to physically and sexually abuse children. I could point out those positives and could probably talk them into accepting that some form of justice was obtained. Of course though, the victims are at the end of the day free to do as they wish. Should they choose to sue YOB/Nussbaum, then that is their prerogative and their choice to make. They are afterall the ones who continue to suffer and have suffered al these years.

However, all that, is not going to happen, because so far, we have no deal or agreement in place, and therefore, we will continue this Blog, and we will continue to proceed with preparations for a lawsuit/trial. YOB, also did not want me to PUBLICIZE the agreement, of course, the reason again being that of fearing bad publicity and embarressment. I'm sorry, but that is tough luck YOB. The nature of the circumstances, will not allow this to simply dissappear, and the public have a right to know about an agreement that will ultimatley, benefit the community at large, and the victims in particular. Take as it is, there will 100% be bad publicity. How bad it will be, depends on if this goes to court or not. Right now, but not for too much longer, YOB has a chance to right what was wronged. The have an opportunity to rise to the occasion, and set a good example, and to help tremendously in the process of saving jewish lives, no matter how much it will hurt them to do so.

In closing, I want to thank the many good folks out there, who have been a tremendous source of support and inspiration, throughout this painful process. It has not been easy, but it definitely has been very worthwhile. Thank You!